Inspiration and wisdom to help you navigate your path and consciously create a life of meaning, purpose, and one that you absolutely love.
Hey Reader,
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βHow do you get over the fear of being judged by others so you can stay true to yourself and keep moving toward your goals and dreams?
This came up in a group discussion I was a part of earlier this week about getting over the fear of "putting yourself out there."
This week I started this 6-week cohort for YouTube Creators which teaches you how to grow your YouTube channel along with other things like having camera confidence.
And in one of the sessions, the instructor spent a good amount of time talking about "the spotlight effect." π¦
This is a term used by psychologists which refers to the tendency we all have to overestimate and exaggerate how much other people notice things about us.
Meaning, we tend to think there is a spotlight on us at all times, highlighting all of our imperfections, mistakes, and flaws, for all the world to see and pick apart.
It's those aspects about ourselves that we tend to focus on when we are about to present ourselves to the world...
That tiny stain you notice on your shirt right before you go into a meeting...
That single misplaced hair you fixate on as you review a photo you're in that's posted to your friends' Facebook page...
Or it shows up in our work or creative projects when we dwell over that one single detail that isn't exactly how we want it to be.
In my case, it's the endless amount of time I spend editing out a slight stutter I might catch in my voice when I'm creating a YouTube video. βοΈ
We tend to think people are closely examining us with a fine-tooth comb.
But the truth is no one else notices these "imperfections" but YOU.
We do this because we all on some level fear being judged by others.
It's just the way our biology is wired.
We humans are social animals that crave community which stems from our evolutionary days of needing a tribe to belong to so we can stay safe and survive.
And judgment (whether real or imagined) means a threat to our belonging which triggers a threat to our safety.
But the funny thing about the fear of judgment is...
It's merely a projection of our own self-judgment.
The things about ourselves we fear being judged by others for are the things we judge in ourselves.
All this does is expose a greater truth... π
Our life is a mirror β a reflection of all our thoughts, beliefs, perceptions, and feelings.
There's a reason why many spiritual teachings and even quantum physics both deem reality as an illusion β meaning our perception is distorted and what we see isnβt actually reality.
Itβs simply OUR projection of reality.
Or as the famous saying goes,
"We donβt see things the way they are. We see things the way we are."
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Here are few things to consider to help further this idea:
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In other words, everything is a reflection of our own deeply ingrained perceptions.
And when we start to understand that our distortions are what fuels our own self-judgment and the judgment we place upon others, we can begin to create a different relationship with our fear of being judged.
Below I compiled some mindful ideas to reframe the fear of judgment.
Also, feel free to hit reply and share any ideas you have or tips that have worked for you.
The Fear of Judgement Pep Talk
// Goal-Setting Tips & Inspiration :: π
βThe Most Important Parts of Goal-Setting by Brian Tracy
1. Write Your Goals Down
Thereβs a certain magic about writing down your goals. Not only does this declare them to yourself, it activates your subconscious mind that will not only help you keep your goals in focus but also help you prioritize them and highlight their importance in your mind.
2. Donβt Overwhelm Yourself By Trying To Accomplish All Your Goals At Once
Besides overwhelm being an illusion, instead of trying to accomplish all of your goals at once, pick the most important goal from your list, set a loose date that you would like to achieve it by, break it down into sub-goals, and then every day do something meaningful that will progress this goal forward
3. Visualize Your Goals As If They Are Already Achieved
Besides visualizing your goals being a powerful motivator, regularly doing creative visualizations will activate your subconscious mind to go out and make your goal real since the subconscious can't distinguish between what is real and what is visualized. The key is to visualize your goal as if it's already been achieved.
4. Make Goal-Setting A Habit
This includes not only taking some type of meaningful action towards your goal every day but making attending to your goal a regular habit in your life. This includes planning at the start of each day and quickly checking-in and reviewing progress and strategy.
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// Interesting Finds :: π²
βOvercoming learned helplessnessβ
βNess Labs | 5 Minutesβ
When bad things repeatedly happen, we may come to think they are unavoidable. And when we feel like we have no agency over the situation, we may begin to feel helpless. Learned helplessness is a mental state that occurs after someone has experienced a stressful situation so many times, they believe they are unable to avoid or control the situation, so they donβt even try.
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βThe Riddle of Boredom β
βMore to That | 6 Minutes
βWhat is boredom? A simple definition might be the absence of stimulation. However, contrary to popular belief, boredom doesnβt have much to do with being idle. Instead, it has more to do with desire, and the inability to direct that desire toward anything meaningful. (Probably explains why I have such a low tolerance for it)
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Thanks for reading.
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If you have any questions, feedback, or want to share some of your own insights, feel free to hit reply and let me know. I read and reply to every email.
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If you know anyone who you think would enjoy receiving these emails, I'd be humbled by the referral. Send them to join this list of awesome creators.
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βAs Always, Keep Creating,
Anthony V. Lombardo
https://anthonyvlombardo.com
Download my Life Visioning Workbook
Connect with me on my Facebook page
Subscribe to my Youtube channel
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P.S. If you have a few minutes, I would love for you to complete my short survey so I can learn more about you.
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P.P.S. Gmail users, don't forget to move this email out of your "Promotions" and into "Primary"
Anthony V. Lombardo
Inspiration and wisdom to help you navigate your path and consciously create a life of meaning, purpose, and one that you absolutely love.
Hey there conscious creator! Welcome to another installment of the You Are A Conscious Creator Newsletter β where in each edition, we seek to empower you to consciously bend your reality by sharing practical tools, resources, and transformative wisdom to help you: Solve stubborn life challenges and recurring problems. Connect with your higher self for guidance and insight. Reprogram your subconscious mind to eradicate old conditioning and break free from limitations. Manifest what your heart...
Hey there conscious creator! Welcome to another installment of the You Are A Conscious Creator Newsletter β where in each edition, we seek to empower you to consciously bend your reality by sharing practical tools, resources, and transformative wisdom to help you: Solve stubborn life challenges and recurring problems. Connect with your higher self for guidance and insight. Reprogram your subconscious mind to eradicate old conditioning and break free from limitations. Manifest what your heart...
Hey there conscious creator! Welcome to another installment of the You Are A Conscious Creator Newsletter β where in each edition, we seek to empower you to consciously bend your reality by sharing practical tools, resources, and transformative wisdom to help you: Solve stubborn life challenges and recurring problems. Connect with your higher self for guidance and insight. Reprogram your subconscious mind to eradicate old conditioning and break free from limitations. Manifest what your heart...