💡 What does it mean to be realistic?

published2 months ago
4 min read

Hey there creator,

Can you believe it's almost June already? Hope you had a great week.

This week's essay looks at how the notion of "being realistic" actually only serves to hold us back in life.

Consider this: while there are lots of things that can sabotage our goals and dreams, most of the time, it’s our own thoughts and words that can drastically minimize our level of success, wealth, fulfillment, and enjoyment.

There’s no bigger culprit than the word ‘realistic’.

I’m sure at some point, you’ve been told by someone (and yourself) to be “realistic” when dreaming big or setting your sights high.

What does it mean to be realistic anyway? 🤷🏻‍♂️

There’s actually no such thing!

“Realistic” is someone else’s definition of reality.

It’s someone else’s hand-me-down version of what’s possible.

It’s like one person’s perception of what constitutes beauty versus another.

It’s your version of a delicious meal versus mine.

Put another way, asking what is “realistic” is like asking what is art.

Both are highly subjective.

But when it comes to figuring out what we want for our life, the latter question is more in line with what we should be asking. More aptly put:

“What is your version of art?”

Rather than looking through the lens of the“realist”, look through the lens of the “artist”.

Meaning, aim to be the artist of your own great story!

To do that, we need to DREAM BIG by setting MOONSHOT GOALS in which we will likely fail at.

Say what! 🤯



Multi-Tasking and Our Greatest Fear
Lawrence Yeo | 6 Minutes

"The desire to multi-task is rooted in the fear of death."

Yes, you read that right.

This author examines how our need to multi-task is just an attempt to control and maximize what we believe is our most precious resource of all — which is time.

Here are a few gems from the post. The third one is my favorite.

  • If we weren’t aware of our own mortality, would we have had the desire to measure time?
  • We live in a world where maximizing your time is linked to productivity, where your sense of worth is linked to what you produce. So the adage of “use your time wisely” is often coded language for “make yourself useful.”
  • You can’t ignore your finiteness by working your way through it. You must pause and think about what you’re doing, and whether it’s actually worth doing. Only then can you experience the true fruits of existence.

Read the post ➜



How do you Stop Fearing the Judgment of Others?

Srikumar Rao | Mindvalley Live

Perhaps turn this question around. When you're consumed with being judged by others you are being very me-centered. You make yourself the center of the Universe.

  1. Instead, ask yourself what do I have to do to be a benefit for others?
    👇
    When you put your emotional energy there, you stop being self-conscious. Do you have something you can give to make someone else's life better in some small fashion?
  2. We spend way too much time focusing on what others will think of us... but here's the kicker... here's what they'll think of you:

    👉 They won't think of you!

    We go through life watching the movie of our life and we think everyone else is watching. They're not. They're watching the movie of their life and in the movie of their life, you're a bit player, if a player at all.

For the full webinar, you can watch the replay or listen to the recorded podcast.



The Time of the Awakened Woman
Poem by Dr. Shefali Tsabary | 2 Minutes

There comes a time in the life of a woman
When her desire to fit in with the crowd dissolves
When her manic compulsion to be perfect vaporizes
And when her obsession to be voted popular eviscerates

This is a snippet from a touching poem written by renowned clinical psychologist Dr. Shefali Tsabary in which she included in her new book A Radical Awakening.

She read this poem live on a recent Zoom call that I was recently on and it was beautiful.

You can listen to her read it in this short video on instagram ➜

You can read the poem here.

Also, you can hear the entire Zoom call by listening to this podcast.



Will I become a billionaire if I am determined to be one and put in the necessary work required?
Quora | 3 Minutes

This question was originally posted on Quora and was answered by Justine Musk, Elon Musk's ex-wife.

Her answer: an emphatic No!

She goes onto explain that while the qualities of determination and hard work are necessary, what separates billionaires is they ask better questions than the one being posed.

In other words:

👉 Instead of focusing on what you want (a better job, a higher salary, starting a business, or in this case a billion dollars)...

Become deeply, intensely curious about what the world wants and needs.

👉 Ask yourself what you have the potential to offer that is so unique, compelling, and helpful that no computer could replace you and no one could outsource you.

💡 How can we use this advice on a smaller scale for our goals?

  • Focus on providing value. What is your unique value? What do you possess that can help other people? When we embrace this mindset of giving value... receiving value (money) is not far behind.

You can also check out this article to read more on Justine's answer.


Thanks for reading.

If you have any questions, feedback, or want to share some of your own insights, feel free to hit reply and let me know. I read and reply to every email.

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As Always, Keep Creating,

avl

Anthony V. Lombardo

https://anthonyvlombardo.com
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